Where is my ambience?

Let me forget for a moment that I actually don’t feel depressed about various happenings.

Why are certain people warming to me, yet the people I’d like to actually notice I exist don’t. I am very subtle with my interaction, never forging anything until I get the ok. This I think will be like a merry go round.

I sat on a swing taking my limits to the sky. Hoping to just reach out and grab the moon, in a hope it would shed some light. But to and throw I was subjected. Without aim and without failure. Walking curiously to a merry go round and setting down my fears until my emotions became giddy.

Last week on a very humble and tepid Sunday afternoon, I dinned at my brother and sister in laws home. It was a very faithful evening spent drinking, sharing delicate tastes and swapping conversations. But for the first time in my life I really felt jealous. I had all this just 6 months ago. A home, a living space, bathroom that I cleaned and a kitchen that I cooked the best pasta. But it’s all gone. And one person took that away. The one person I believed in more than anyone else.

I walk into an empty room. My belongings are outside blowing in the wind. Each space is no longer occupied with my beautiful things. I can’t hear the laughter anymore, only the pain. I leave my heart by the door and my confidence sits outside the window. They are waiting. BUT I WILL NEVER RETURN...