My ambitions have always been very short lived. I have loads of ideas that come and go, and I am forever wondering what I would really like to do. This may be my trait. I can’t focus on something for a vast period of time. I do try and give it my all, but I am certain to lose faith and struggle to connect. Studying at school was for me a low point, as I imagine many will agree. But you see that for me it was just a barrage of knock downs and insecurities impounding. So to cut a very delicate long story short, I am unable to put any real level of passion into various obstacles. Like work for instance. I may not be pulling in the £s But I am certainly living. I am working very hard and putting skills that others would dribble over to good use. And I am able to live a generous life. I would rather a topman suit than a Gucci, and a pizza express over an overpriced, tiny morsel restaurant.
This for me is about living for me and not others. I tried the living for others and it sucks the life out of you. You see that I was not entirely honest when stating that I have never put much thought into something, I have..... Someone to be precise. This was the one time that all my efforts and studying came to affect. I worked my fingers down to the gristle.... and for what.
But this is a really valuable lesson for me. I have since taken a maths course and passed. Taken up the guitar with a steady progress. I am enlightening my creative and artistic hunger with museums and galleries. It seems that I am learning more when I am doing it for myself. Because I know that I will appreciate everything I do from now on.
This wonder has been spent.
With a liquid mind swimming
To learn new points of interest
Is to take away the lack of.
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